I've also been contemplating intensely on what is happiness? How do you achieve it as a permanent state if you've never had it before? What's they key to happiness? Etc.
In my studies I've found that alot of people with a concrete sense of emotional well being has had a strong foundation of joy. Solid families. Fulfilling lives since childhood (Family vacations, strong support system etc)
So my question was how do you find happiness/get happy if you don't know what it is? If you don't have this foundation. I think this is a question that escapes many. That's why there's so many addicts trying to find ANYWAY to escape their pain or people committing suicide. If I can find the true answer to that question perhaps I can help so many people.
"Happy People" love giving cliche' advice on happiness but they are coming for a different place, so their advice will not help these people.
I'm in heavy contemplation mode. All month. Using my own l!fe as the guinea pig.
Reason for my sadness and emptiness? My overwhelming sense of failure. I had a plan and expectation crafted since very young and I'm virtually still in the same place I was as a child. (figuratively)
The "American Dream" has been the check point for happiness since I was a child. That was the meaning of happiness to me. But it seems out of sight for me. What if this is my l!fe for the rest of my l!fe? Could I ever be truly happy poor??? I either have to change what my meaning of happiness is, or achieve my meaning of happiness some way or another. Would settling be the best thing for my emotional well-being? Or should I continue to tough it out until I achieve what I want? The payoff could possibly be the biggest payoff I could ever have! But there's a chance it won't ever happen. Do I continue to work toward that with more ferocity or give up on that and try and enjoy what I have??? That is a DEEP and l!fe altering question. One that cannot be made on a whim and one that no one else can answer for me.
What do I want?
- To be a professional musician
- To be sexy (slender)
- To make a career out of my passions
- To feel successful (not feeling like a failure)
Why haven't I achieved my biggest career goals? 1. Because I don't feel "good enough". I don't feel my voice is strong enough and I don't feel I look commercial enough. I wasn't giving the training and practice needed. My voice cracks. When I perform in front of people I don't even sound like myself because I am so nervous. I don't know how or have the know how to change this. I need professional help...which brings me to my 2nd dilemma.
2. I don't have the means to prepare. MONEY MONEY MONEY. Some ppl use their undeniable talent to get the means, and others use their means to enhance their talent. But what if you have neither?
(as far as the weight loss. It's part laziness and part distraction)
How do I get where I want to be? Utilize every free avenue I can to get where I want to be. Build contacts and reputation. Find focus by entering programs to keep me busy and give me direction.
We'll see. I'm going to keep trying to figure this all out.
